life once again imitates parody

Me, over two years ago, in jest:

The College Board today announced the release of a new test that measures a student's ability to take standardized tests. Called the Standardized Test of Aptitude for Testing, or STAT, the new assessment allows test prep companies to target students likely to perform poorly on other metrics.

"The time for such a test is long overdue," noted Marisol Hernandez, director of public relations for Kaplan. "We can no longer rely on students' own perceptions of potential failure. It's better that they know with precision and confidence that they need remediation."

Jonas Underwood, president of Fight Against College Testing, disagreed. "Biases are littered throughout this new moneymaking scam for the testmakers and test preppers," he said. "They'll laugh all the way to the bank. And they'll drive there in those new hybrid SUVs."

High school students have begun to feel the pinch of added testing. "Whatever it takes," said Amaria Gorney, a sophomore at Rockefeller Central High. "I'd sell a kidney to get a perfect STAT score."

The Kitsap Sun, today, in utter seriousness:

With all the emphasis on the WASL, some parents might think their children are already taking enough tests in school.

But the North Mason School Board heard about a different kind of assessment this week, one that might help teachers zero in on their student's learning needs and improve their academic performance.

The board took part in an online seminar at its meeting Thursday night on the Measures of Academic Progress — or MAP — tests given by Lake Oswego, Ore.-based Northwest Evaluation Association....

"MAP is supposed to be a good predictor of WASL scores, and that is the key; we need something we can link to WASL," [North Mason union prez Vicki Hopkins] said.